‘Greener grass fever’

So, I didn’t quite get the chance to do one of those obligatory ‘end of year reviews’ and give a personal round up of 2016. Generally, it was a shit year for everyone, but for me, it was the year that everything changed – I changed.

Moving to London was possibly one of the biggest risks I’ve ever taken but it was long overdue. It hasn’t been an easy ride. In fact, it’s been anything but, but I’ve embraced it and given it a chance. It will be a year in March and it’s actually flown by.

London is an amazing city. It oozes culture, charm, and eccentricity – everything you could possibly want. In fact, it is a wonderland of fun for every personality.

So why does all of this still feel strange to me, nearly one year in?

Maybe it’s me. In fact, it’s most definitely me. I’m the most socially awkward person in the world, and to be honest, I am really bored of people at the moment (though this is a good trait to have in London, especially when you’re broke).

During my commutes to work, I come across some of the worst excuses for human beings, who make me question – what am I doing here?! Is this what I have to conform to? (Cos quite frankly, that’s not going to happen). Is this what being a Londoner is about – being an utter arsehole with no manners or respect for others?

Also, I don’t seem to know where my time and money goes. It’s like I don’t go out as much as most people, but I seem to have no money. This is quite scary for someone who is used to putting money into a savings account. I just can’t do this anymore, as it’s impossible to save. So I constantly feel guilty when I actually make plans to do something. I do however, love the independence and freedom to make my own decisions and not be judged (because no-one gives a flying fuck in London).

Another thing that pisses me off is house sharing. I mean, it’s all fun and games until you realise you hate sharing a house. HA! However, I love living in North London. It’s one of the things I am most happy about. I’m lucky to live in such a green spot; I just need to start making the most of it.

Settle. That’s the one thing I need to do, but I’m also most fearful of in almost every situation. I’m forever craving something new and exciting, which is why I can’t really enjoy things for what they are. It’s like I constantly have ‘greener grass fever’ and I’m always on edge, thinking I have to go one better.

Before making rash decisions about moving elsewhere and starting afresh, I’ve set myself some goals because I really do want to give London a proper chance. These are:

  • Get a new job, with a higher salary, so I can actually spend a little more without feeling guilty AF! I also want to work within a role that I’m passionate about, as I feel this will empower me and give me the kick that I need! A direct tube journey would be great too, as changing at Kings Cross stresses me out every morning!
  • Travel more. This ties in with earning more, as I want to be able to spend on holidays and exploring the world a bit more.
  • More research on getting on the property ladder. Cos no matter how lovely your housemates are, you will get sick of house sharing at some point. I already am.

Anyway, I’ll let you go about your evening. Just felt I had to put this into writing, almost as a reminder to myself.

Plus, I guess the grass is greener where you water it, right?

Happy 2017, one and all!


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