I live for food. It’s probably my number one passion. I have a huge appetite, which people are usually taken aback by, when they first meet me (I’m sorry).
In fact, my motto in life is, ‘Act like a lady, eat like a savage’, except sometimes I’m not ladylike at all – but let’s gloss over that!
Now I’ve been a vegetarian my entire life and I would never eat meat, because I adore animals. My favourite food in the entire world is cheese. I could live off it, easily. It’s so versatile, so tasty, and so accessible. In fact, my perfect evening would consist of cheese and wine.
Now imagine my horror when my IBS symptoms (I have IBS, btw) went crazy and made me feel like absolute crap for a few weeks, It was like no matter what I ate, I would feel bloated, have severe cramps in my stomach and could feel that my food just wasn’t digesting properly. I finally decided to go to my local walk-in centre, where the doctor informed me that I need to control what I eat over the next few months.
This was all well and good until she continued;
“You need to go dairy free for a whole month and see how you get on“.
It was actually like that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa tells Ralph that she doesn’t want to be with him, and his heart shatters. I feel you, Ralph. I could have cried. In fact, I wanna cry now.
It’s been the worst four days of my life as I’m adapting to life with no cheese. I already feel it’s making me angry and I’m struggling to find quick vegan bites to eat when I’m on my lunch break.
I will be blogging during this ordeal, so if you enjoy hearing about how unhappy I am, please do read my future posts.
I hereby declare this month, ‘FUCKTOBER’.