Over the past few years, I’ve seen the quality of friendships seem to decrease as age increases. Now this may not be the case with everyone, but I’ve personally experienced changes in attitudes, expectations and behaviour from certain individuals that used to be my friends.
Yes, I said ‘used to’. As harsh as this may sound, I only give the title of ‘friend’ to a very select few who earn it. Now I may sound like hard work, but I’ll openly admit that I bloody am. It takes a lot for me to let people into my life, so if you don’t make the effort, why should I bother having you around?
So here are a few tips on how to maintain a friendship, and guess what? IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!
1) Ask how someone is.
As simple as it sounds, we’re so self-involved sometimes that we forget that other people have problems too. A simple ‘how are you?’ every now and then makes all the difference and shows the other person that there is someone out there that gives a shit.
2) Pick up the phone.
Believe it or not, Whatsapp is not the only form of communication in the world! I’m guilty of this one myself, but I do love having a real conversation now and then. Unless you wanna be seen as a virtual friend for life, give them a call.
3) Make plans.
Prove that you actually want see them again. Plan ahead so they know you’re willing to spend a bit of time on them. To me, there is nothing more flattering than knowing someone wants to make space for you in their life!
4) Don’t ditch your friends when you get into a relationship.
The one I moan about ALL the time. So you have a new person in your life and you’re all loved up. Excellent, but if you’re spending every waking moment with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and talking about them non-stop when you’re apart, you will lose everyone else in your life. It will get to a point where your friends realise you don’t have the space for them in your life and in your mind and they’ll walk away. Balance is key!
5) It’s not about taking turns.
Forget the whole ‘I sent the last message weeks ago so I won’t make the effort as I didn’t get a reply’. There may be a reason why you didn’t get a reply. Don’t give up on someone ‘cos they didn’t reply to one message. Remove your head out of your own arse and swallow your pride. Again, ask how they are. That one simple action could make all the difference.
There are plenty more I could add, but I think these are a good starting point. This post is not to badmouth or patronise anyone in any way. I just think we all need a reminder to look at the bigger picture, sometimes. Are you doing all you can to be a good friend?