So, I’ve just completed my third week in my new job and decided it was high time that I wrote a new post. The support I’ve had over the past two years has been amazing. I feel like some people in my social network (especially Twitter) have followed my journey for quite some time, and have shared my highs and lows.
Anyway, as loads of you are aware, I hated my last job and everything it turned me into. I walked away from that whole experience feeling broken, lonely and exhausted. I felt like I had lost every last bit of confidence and drive I had. I was constantly on edge, I felt like I had been dumbed down, I wasn’t being heard and it caused me to detach from everyone I used to socialise with. Now I realise that these people weren’t my real friends anyway, and that was probably for the best.
Handing in my notice with no job to move onto was the best move I ever made in my career thus far. I finally bit the bullet and took a risk. This was totally out of character but it needed to be done. Ironically enough, working my notice period was the only time I ever felt appreciated in that job!
Thankfully, I was offered my new role just before I left. I was lucky to have a three-week break to clear my head and start afresh. Everyone was asking how I was celebrating my good news, and I didn’t really know how to respond. For starters, I had no-one to celebrate with, I was happy just going into hiding for a while!
The moment I set foot into my new office, I felt at ease. I had been craving this change for so long, and it had finally come. I was finally able to wipe the last two years of my career out of my head. Although it’s a very small team, there’s a relaxed culture, a solid structure, an inspiring work environment, and the role is challenging – exactly what I needed. Now this definitely isn’t the dream, the dream is working in London or Edinburgh, but it’s an opportunity. I will be forever grateful for it.
To be fair, it’s been an intense three weeks and I’ve been exhausted, too exhausted to even tweet some days! However, it’s exhausted me in a good way, I feel supported and valued. In fact, work has been an excellent distraction from the demons that reside in my head. It’s actually helped me to regain some control over situations that I felt were taking me over e.g, unnecessary people.
I always think we cross paths with others for a reason. Lately, I’ve found that this thought prevents me from pushing the wrong ‘uns out of my life. After enduring a lot of drama from ‘part-time’ friends recently, I realise that I need to control who comes in and out of my life. This includes who I engage with on social networking sites too.
Last week, I went to a Stress Awareness course from work. I expected it to be boring, but it helped me to put many things into perspective. One of the activities we did was to recognise one of the biggest causes of stress – people in our lives.
We were all told to write a list of those people we feel the need to contact regularly, to care for and spend our time on. I wrote a few names, also mentioned the need to use social networking sites to contact friends. We were then asked the following questions,
1.) Did you write your own name?
2.) If all of the people on your list were asked to do this activity, do you think your name would be on their list? (If not, cross out their name)
Now that certainly made me think. I rarely put myself first, and I go to a lot of effort for people that don’t reciprocate. Let’s just say that a few names were crossed off that list, and mine was written in big capital letters!
My social space is very precious to me, as is my time. Now that I have less free time, I need to ensure it is spent on myself first, and then on those that excite me, inspire me and value me. Little changes can have a big impact.